I told the witch doctor....

One of the most unbelievable moments thus far, get excited:

This past Saturday we had a language class field trip to visit the “curandeiro” aka “natural doctor” aka “witch doctor”. First of all we meet to get driven there in a P.C. land cruiser because it’s located way deep in Barrio A in the mountains. We pile in chapa-style (we had 14 people in a place that would squish in 10 in the states) and head down into the barrio (aka neighborhood).

I had mentioned to my Mãe the night before that I was going to see the curandeiro in the morning. I was slightly worried about her reaction because she is a stout Catholic, and she seemed to be fine with it. She asked what a curandeiro was to which I replied “natural doctor” and she was satisfied with that answer.

We finally hike down to the huts where they do their business and all have to pile into one. It’s a round mud hut with a thatched roof about 8 feet in diameter. About half of that space is taken up with bottles filled with who knows what (we asked—it’s a secret), animal skins hanging on the walls and black, red and white kapulanas hanging up everywhere (the colors of the curandeiro). In this little tiny space we all pack in once again chapa-style (that’s right, all 14 of us). Only in Mozambique would you think there’s no more room—the Mozambican language teachers just kept piling in. We sit there waiting for about 10 minutes. I can see out the doorway, and I notice a familiar face: Fuse (pronounced foo-C).

Fuse is my mae’s nephew. I met him in my first week here. He’s super patient and has some of the best Portuguese of anyone I’ve met yet. My favorite moment was the first time he met me my first week here “Este é um TEL-E-VI-SOR”. Yeah, I realize that’s a TV, thanks.  I may not speak the language but I’m not oblivious. Just the weekend before this field trip to the curandeiro he taught me the word for “lukewarm”. Main point of this tangent is that I Fuse comes to my house and I chat with him on a regular basis.

Back to the hut:

            I notice Fuse out the doorway and my first thought is “what in the heck is he doing here?” Next thing I know he comes into the hut and sits down, bites a stick and spits it into this bag of sea shells and starts explaining the process of a consultation with the curandeiro. This is when it hits me: Fuse IS THE curandeiro. Coming from a western view point, you imagine this super gray and wrinkly old man with some sort of crazy bone and feather outfit on. Instead in walks Fuse, late 20s wearing cargo khaki shorts and a G-Unit t-shirt with the sleeves cut off. Unbelievable.

I am trying to control my shock and let Emily know at the same time that this is the Fuse I always talk about. Emily tries to control her shock as well. I’m packed in the back row of people so it’s a few minutes until he sees me. He just says “oh, uma conhecida” which roughly translates into “hey, I know you” and I say “hola” in wonder. He finishes his speech, we ask him some questions and then he’s off to the next group.

            How my Mãe failed to mention that it would be Fuse when I told her I was going to visit the curandeiro in Barrio A I have no idea. Upon leaving, I explain my shock to everyone and the reason I got that special shout-out in the hut. I get home and am like “Mãe, why would you not warn me that it was Fuse?!?” and she just laughs “It was Fuse that you went to see?! Hahaha” with no real response. Such is life here.

So, that’s my story of the visit to the curandeiro, and if you know me well (or ask my fellow PCTs) I won’t get over it for awhile. Crazy times in Mozambique J